


The Story of Emma and Me: A Sort of Fairytale for My Granddaughter

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cursed Storybrooke, Curses, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Epistolary, F/F, Good versus Evil, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mental Instability, Mild Language, Past Abuse, Post-Canon, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-21 05:48:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11937630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: The story of Emma and me began decades ago, though it feels like centuries ago lately.  She has always been intricately woven into the fabric of my life, just as I have been in hers.





	The Story of Emma and Me: A Sort of Fairytale for My Granddaughter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bouquetemoji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouquetemoji/gifts).
  * Inspired by [the place you escape to [ART]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11850324) by [bouquetemoji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouquetemoji/pseuds/bouquetemoji). 



> Date Written: 23 August - 6 September 2017  
> Word Count: 6938  
> Written for: SQSupernova II: Cygnus Summer Celebration  
> Art Prompt: the place you escape to  
> Artist: abatnoir  
> Summary: The story of Emma and me began decades ago, though it feels like centuries ago lately. She has always been intricately woven into the fabric of my life, just as I have been in hers.  
> Spoilers: Post-S7 canon divergence, but you can pretty much consider anything we know about these characters as up for grabs.  
> Warnings: No standard warnings apply, though there is some vague discussion of marital abuse and marital rape.  
> Website: ShatterStorm Productions – Doggie Duo  
> Link to: http://bdkk.shatterstorm.net/  
> Archive: ShatterStorm Productions & AO3 only…all others ask for permission & we'll see…  
> Feedback: Constructive criticism is always welcome.
> 
> Author’s Disclaimer: "Once Upon a Time," the characters, and situations depicted are the property of Adam Horowitz, Edward Kitsis, Kitsis/Horowitz, and ABC Studios. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes. Previously unrecognized characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. This site is in no way affiliated with "Once Upon a Time," ABC, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author’s Notes: This was a strange labor of love for me. I've started over like three times before I got this idea to work with. If you know me as an author, you know that I try to stick close to canon, so Daniel, Robin Hood, and Hook are mentioned in canon-compliant relationships. This did end up becoming more of a character study/analysis of Regina with a liberal dose of Swan Queen, though I'd intended it to be swapped around initially. And yes, my headcanon for S7 says that Roni embraces her Latina side, allowing Regina to do the same after that particular curse is broken. This is why there is a smattering of Spanish terms thrown in here, as well as Lucy's nickname. In the same vein of Gold and Hook getting cursed last names related to their original lives, I chose to use Manzana as Roni's last name, as it's "apple" in Spanish.
> 
> Sections of text in _{italics}_ are intended as in-story authorial commentary, because Regina chose not to play by the rules this time around.
> 
> Dedication: My muses, as usual…
> 
> Beta: TheOnlySPL

_Once upon a time…_

Those four words feel innocuous enough, ubiquitous in modern literature. And yet, here I am committing the cardinal sin of beginning this tale of mine with them. But I am not a writer, not like my son -- _our_ son.

Because, let's face it, this is our story. Emma's and mine. And Henry's, I suppose.

Ours has never been an easy story, not by any stretch of the imagination. If anyone tries to tell you it was easy, they're lying through their teeth. Or they've lost their minds. Either is entirely possible.

But I promised my granddaughter, Lucy, the story of her grandmothers, and I will not break that or any other promise made to her. Family is far too precious to be taken for granted. Five different curses separating me from my family have taught me that lesson in the hardest ways possible.

And so, my darling granddaughter, this is for you. I hope it lives up to your expectations.

Happy thirteenth birthday and welcome into womanhood.

I love you, Lucita.

_Abuelita_

**_~~ Before the First Curse ~~_**

The story of Emma and me began decades ago, though it feels like centuries ago lately. She has always been intricately woven into the fabric of my life, just as I have been in hers. Rumpelstiltskin and Reul Ghorm may pretend that they know nothing of the pre-destination of our lives intersecting, but I know better. This goes beyond ill-fated pixie dust and rigged Underworld tests of True Love.

That said, let me point out that Emma and I have loved others in our lives. I cannot speak for her, but I know that, if given the opportunity, I wouldn't change a single thing that happened in my life if it means I might not have Emma in the end. Or Henry, for that matter. The human heart has the capacity to love in so many ways. The more you love, the more love you have to give. Okay, so maybe I read something similar by Maya Angelou once about creativity, but the basic principle still stands as sound logic. Love is not finite by any stretch of the imagination. Nor does it allow for discrimination or recrimination. Love is boundless and love is blind. Fear taints love's purity, and yet we need a healthy dose of fear in order to have the bravery to open ourselves completely to love.

_{I'm sorry, Lucita, but I warned you that I'm not very good at this. Writing is your father's thing, not mine. Not like this. But I will continue to try, for you.}_

On the day that I was born, a chain of events was set into place that would bring Emma and myself into each other's spheres of influence. No, it started before that. On the day that the then-Princess Eva ridiculed and mocked my mother, a blood feud began that only truly ended when Emma and I chose to put vengeance aside for love.

When I first met Emma, I hated her. I hated everything about her, because I _knew_. I knew _who_ she was, I knew _what_ she was, and I definitely knew what she would do to my curse, my son, and my life. And yet, even knowing what her presence meant, I never wanted her dead. Looking back now, these twenty-one years later, it's clear to me that my heart knew what my head absolutely refused to acknowledge until it was almost too late. I was just too caught up in the fear of the unknown, or rather the fear of what I knew to be true, to allow myself to take the chance I needed to take.

Or maybe I have that backwards. I've always wanted to believe that it was my head that was in charge of the things I said and did to bring me to this place where I am today. The head is logical, analytical. The heart is frivolous, soft, easily swayed. But the heart is resilient and craves the sense of _belonging_. The heart will convince the head to do whatever is necessary to finally belong, to finally be acknowledged and cherished. And when broken, the heart is what will go to any lengths to exact revenge and find a new sense of belonging.

Finally, after all of these years, I can admit that it was never my head that gave birth to the Evil Queen. It was my heart that was the culprit: broken, bleeding, hurting in ways that I still am incapable of finding the words to describe properly. This knowledge has rocked me to my very core, shifted the equilibrium in my soul in ways that I cannot fathom.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?

_{See, Lucita? I told you that this isn't easy for me. But, just as I promised your father after the curse broke, I will not lie to you or make a promise with the intention of breaking it. Be gentle with your abuelita?}_

**_~~ The First Curse ~~_**

I hated the curse almost from the moment I cast it.

Those eleven words are some of the hardest ones I've ever written or spoken in my entire life. And no, I will not entertain the idea of stating my true age here or anywhere else. A lady never reveals her age, even when it can be used to her advantage. Mama burned that into my memory before I was forming complete sentences. But I digress…

The seeds of darkness were planted in my heart practically from conception. The miller's daughter who became the Queen of Hearts sowed discontent in her wake as she fought for the chance to elevate her status and take vengeance against those who wronged her and her family. When she married Daddy, he was fifth in line for the throne of my Grandfather's kingdom. If she could have done it, Mama would have killed her way into the throne, but I like to believe that even she understood the impossibility of that goal. Instead, she harnessed all of her energy into the only child she bore my father. Some say she'd have been happier with a son, but it's harder to make a king of a son than a daughter into a queen. A resourceful young woman can marry into a queen's crown and bear an heir and a spare to her king before he meets an untimely death before her children reach the age of maturity. That allows for many years of ruling as Queen Regent, rallying the kingdom to her support while training the heirs to her agendas.

And so, in spite of the destiny already laid out for me -- or perhaps because of it? -- the Evil Queen was always an intentional part of my life because of Mama's marrow-deep need to avenge the wrongs laid upon her by the world, but especially by Princess Eva and Prince Leopold.

_{When you are older, Lucita, and your father agrees, I will tell you the whole story of how your great-grandfather exacted his own revenge against my mother upon the mind and body of his innocent, defenseless child bride. This is something I still find difficult to deal with, and so I beg your forgiveness for glossing over it in the simplest of terms, the broadest of strokes here. I never wish for you to know of the devastation I suffered at that man's hands, but neither will I lie to you or your father and say that it was less than it truly was.}_

I was sixteen when I learned about the incident that began Mama's blood feud against Princess Eva. Even now, having met the woman as a young girl, it's difficult to accord her the correct title of Queen Eva. My thoughts war over the princess who snubbed my mother so and the queen who was known throughout the kingdoms as utterly benevolent and kind-hearted. Having met and partially raised Snow White, I understand better the dual nature of one Eva of the Northern Kingdom. At least Mama was straightforward in her more Machiavellian intentions. Or is that just me seeing her as an adult in hindsight?

People believe that the Evil Queen was born in the aftermath of Daniel's death through Snow White's naiveté and inability to keep a secret. Because that is the version of the truth that I wanted them to believe. But, as I said before, the Evil Queen germinated within my psyche from conception. I am quite sure that had Snow White been born male, I would have been his queen to enact the scenario of the Queen Regent over that kingdom to exact Mama's revenge. But a son was not in the cards for Leopold and Eva. More's the pity for them that they only had Snow White. She ensured that the kingdom would eventually be overthrown and her family line slaughtered off from history.

After all, isn't that what happened in so many ways?

_{Yes, Lucita, I know this is your great-grandmother that I'm talking about. She and I have mended so many of the rifts in our relationship, but there are still some that rankle just under the skin. She and I both know where the minefields and no man's land are and we will continue to tread very carefully around them until our dying days. This is just as it needs to be, but we do the best we can.}_

In reality, the psychic and physical break with reality that I suffered at Daniel's death was only the final catalyst to breaking the Evil Queen from her cocoon deep within my soul. She became the deadly black butterfly, intent on destroying everyone and everything in her path. Such poetic words for such a ruthlessly devastating part of yourself…

I _ached_ for relief from the torment of my soul. Between Leopold's abusive tendencies, mostly fueled by his obsession with both his dead wife and his prepubescent daughter, and the necessity of being in such close proximity to young Snow White, I was never able to truly mourn Daniel's death and try to move on with some semblance of sanity intact. Every moment in their presence chipped away another piece of the brittle obsidian that was my heart. And while Mama was still at court with me, controlling me in her own ways, it was even worse.

I once wrote a list of all of the grievances that ruined my heart and my sense of hope. I kept an entire magically sealed journal _just_ for that purpose. It was my ledger of revenge. To be fair, I did have a section of redemptions, but it was all of two pages versus at least a hundred of the negatives. The night before I cast the Dark Curse, I read through that book one last time and burned it. It no longer physically exists, but that ledger of good and bad is still etched permanently in a corner of my heart. It's the reason I will never truly have a fully clean heart again. There are some things that one can never fully release from their DNA, no matter how hard they try. But it's also the one thing that keeps me from completely slipping back into that pit of psychotic despair, clawing for the sweet release of escape or death.

The night that Tinkerbell saved me, the night she gave me the hope of leaving the hell that I was living, she was right: I wanted to die. I thought it would be easier with Leopold and Snow White away from the castle. I kept to my wing of the castle then, as I did most of the time anyway, but with Leopold and Snow gone, I was thankfully ignored even more than usual. I'd planned to go in my sleep, hoping that Snow White would be her usual spoiled and clueless self and come bursting into my room to find my rotting body. But Fate has a way of changing your plans without so much as a "by your leave," and I found myself falling to my death instead. I only prayed for the quick dashing of my brains on the flagstones in the courtyard below.

I rejected Tinkerbell and everything she told me about my soulmate. It wasn't even because of Daniel's memory. Again, that was an easy assumption for others to believe, and I had no desire to change their thoughts of me. No, I destroyed possibly the only true friendship I had at that point, as well as life with my soulmate, because I was afraid. My happy ending was just inside that tavern that night. All I had to do was open the door, go in, talk to him, and begin the rest of my life. But after a life of so much pain and heartache, of dreaming of better days and escaping, I froze at the possibility of _actually_ getting what I wanted. I rejected the very thing I wanted more than life itself.

But that doesn't mean that I regret it. If I had gotten together with Robin then, I wouldn't be here now and I wouldn't have the family and the love that I do now.

_{And there I go again, waxing philosophical about my past instead of talking about the story of Emma and me. Lucita, I hope that you understand where some of your father's odd rambling tendencies come from.}_

And so I stayed with Leopold and Snow White. And planned my revenge. Mama was long gone in Wonderland, as I would later find out. No matter what I did, the people revered Snow and Leopold. It wasn't until the genie came to court that I was able to exact a part of my revenge. I couldn't kill Mama, but I could have Leopold killed while Snow was still in need of a Queen Regent. With him out of the way, I could have so much more sway over her mind and her reign as queen. Of course, I still planned to kill her, too, but it would be _too_ coincidental to have both of them die by the same exotic method. No, I had other plans for Snow White's demise.

Rumpelstiltskin had his own hand in what would eventually become the Dark Curse. He can deny it all he wants, even to this day, but I know that he knew what needed to be done so that Emma and I could find ourselves in a mutual orbit that is unbreakable. He needed Henry to be born, needed the Truest Believer to exist. And I think he needed the daughter of the Truest Believer, as well. That both are of the same magical lineage that begat the Dark Curse in the first place is no coincidence, and no one can convince me otherwise. Good and Evil are in a constant state of flux seeking balance. Having the strongest hearts of good coming from a line that began in such darkness is the ultimate redemption known to mankind. I am humbled to be part of that process, even if not directly by blood.

Casting the Dark Curse brought me the ultimate revenge against Snow White, a woman I could never kill, no matter how much I thought I wanted it. She lost. She was a cowed, mousy wallflower that had none of the fire that she'd learned living on the lam. Her daughter, the sainted Savior to be, was lost in another land unknown to us. Her husband ended up in a coma, _solely_ because he hadn't quite expired when I cast it. And I spent _years_ obsessing over that little detail, trust me. It wasn't until David became more of a brother to me than I ever thought I needed that I realized I'd never actually wanted him dead either.

But within a week of living in my beautiful little curse of Storybrooke, I hated it. That brief interlude with young Owen and his father made me realize just how much more of a prison Storybrooke was than life under Leopold's thumb. That does not mean that I have ever forgiven Leopold for what he did to me, but you must remember that we had no idea where the Savior was, so my curse would continue indefinitely until she came to break it. For all we knew, she had died after being put in that damned tree.

The lack of magic became a major focus in my life. I wanted my revenge, but I wanted something different in my life. I began to explore life without magic, and I found I liked it. But it was a lonely life. I wanted nothing to do with any of the people cursed to spend an eternity walking around in a blind stupor as they did. It took me nearly twenty years before I could build up the courage to truly understand that I needed honest human interaction. I adopted Henry. It was the best decision I made while still not entirely sane. I almost let him go. The benefit of multiple curses, especially when I've been a victim of two of them, has allowed me to learn things about myself that I had forgotten. I figure it's a price of the magic I wrought nearly thirty-two years ago. Yes, I now know that I'd discovered Emma was Henry's mother and, for the second time in my life, made the decision to poison myself with a potion to cut out a part of my life, my psyche. I do understand why I did what I did, but I still feel disgusted with myself for doing it. For the second time in my life, Fate worked to show me that Emma was a part of my future, my destiny, and for the second time, I did something stupid to try to prevent it.

They do say hindsight is 20/20.

The minute Snow White gave Henry that book of fairytales, the minute he learned he was adopted, I should've realized just how close to an end that twenty-eight year period of intended bliss for me was coming. But the forgetting potion and my own insanity-laced hubris clouded my judgment. I wanted to believe that, even though I hated what most of my life had become, I was happy with Henry and the curse could just continue to exist forever.

And then Henry ran away and brought Emma back to Storybrooke with him. That night changed my life, as clichéd as that sounds. I took one look at her and her shy little "Hi," still stung by Henry's "I found my real mom," and I felt something _shift_ deep in my soul. I chose to feed the hatred and distrust of this woman that I was sure would steal my son, my reason for happiness, from me. How could I even consider that she might be the reason for my happiness truly coming to fruition? I had to stop her breaking my curse at all costs but, just as with her mother, I couldn't kill Emma Swan.

Once again, I feared both the loss of my control and the idea of truly embracing the happiness offered to me. I lashed out in the only way I knew, letting the insanity that was my darkness take over again. Had I been thinking properly, I'd have realized that sacrificing the last bits of magic I retained in this land to stop Emma was purely fear of finally getting what I truly wanted. Instead, I let myself be swayed by the sibilant whispers of darkness and worked to put Emma out of commission indefinitely. That I nearly killed my son in the process…

No, I have promised to be truthful. My bad judgment and fear caused Henry to die. Or slip deeply enough into a coma that he might as well have been dead. I've never tried to make the distinction because it hurts too much either way. I will forever be grateful to Emma for bringing him back with True Love's Kiss. I can't even be upset that it also destroyed my curse. What good would my curse continuing mean if I lost Henry in the process?

But I knew that there wouldn't be a single sympathetic person among those finally woken from their waking comas after twenty-eight years of enforced imprisonment. A part of me was ready to face the angry mob and let them exact their revenge upon me. If I was dead, I couldn't hurt anymore. But even in my nihilistic need to atone for my many and varied sins, I wasn't brave enough to _actually_ die. Oh, I put on a mask of sneering indifference, but I was ready to piss myself in fear. And in strode one Emma Swan, growling and swearing her own kind of fealty to me in saying that I wouldn't die on her watch.

When she stood up to Whale and the mob as she did, that sensation of _shifting_ in my soul grew. I was far too stubborn to realize what I was feeling was the first stirrings of love. I swore that she only wanted me alive for Henry's sake. And it was enough. My heart, my soul, was too fragile to delve any deeper.

But it was only the tip of the iceberg that is the connection between Emma and me.

**_~~ The Second and Third Curses ~~_**

The next two years are a strange blur of constant stress and worry combined with a low level of contentment. So many issues came at us hard and fast, we barely had the time to recover from one when the next would start: the wraith, Emma and Snow being flung back into the Enchanted Forest, fighting my mother and Hook, being accused of killing Archie Hopper, Mama's death, Greg Mendel's shot at revenge on me, Neverland, Pan… The list still feels like a never-ending nightmare of epic proportions. Henry became a pawn far more often than I will ever feel comfortable with, but through it all, Emma was right there at my side.

Every single time I was ready to backslide into darkness, break my promise to Henry _because_ of this all-consuming need to keep him safe and alive, Emma was right there to talk me down from the ledge, as it were. No matter how hard I fought it, my heart was clearing out a larger and larger space to house my feelings for her. I've lost count of how many times she's saved my life over the years, and how many times I've saved hers. She is the moon in orbit around my planet. No, that's not right. She is the sun, Henry is the planet orbiting her, and I am the poor, pitiful moon hopelessly caught up in the push and pull of these two stronger, saner entities that I cannot live without.

_{Yes, I know exactly how clichéd and sappy that sounds, Lucita. You are far too much like your father and other grandmother for my comfort. Please never change, no matter what.}_

Pan, yet another part of the darker part of our family history. Henry's great-grandfather, Lucy's great-great-grandfather. That bastard nearly tore our family apart forever. When I realized what I had to do to stop Pan's version of the curse, I admit that I was torn. No, I didn't want his curse to be enacted, not knowing what kind of hell he would force us all to live in. But I also didn't want to lose my only true family that was left. I still couldn't admit that I had feelings for Emma, especially when I was so sure she didn't reciprocate them. I thought she only did what she did for me because of Henry. I knew I wasn't good enough to deserve her in my life.

But I made the decision, upon realizing what I had to give up to save _everyone_ from Pan's curse, to give Henry and Emma what they deserved. They may not remember any of us, but they could be happy together in their new, cursed life. And so I transferred my own memories of Henry's childhood to Emma. I gave her the family I tore away from her in my need for revenge. I gave Henry the mother he deserved to grow up with.

I wanted to kiss her before they left, before I would never see them again. But, just as so many times before, fear won out over happiness. Little did I realize that in giving her my memories, I gave her some of my burgeoning love. Watching the two of them drive off in that yellow death trap of hers was every bit as painful as watching Mama crush Daniel's heart before my eyes.

For the second time in my life, I wanted to die more than I wanted to live. I still tried to find ways to break this damnable curse, but a part of me prepared for the worst. And there was no way I could live the rest of my life without my sun and planet to order my endless orbit. But Snow fucking White and her endlessly nauseating hope speeches kept hindering my attempts at death or heart removal. 

And then Robin Hood and Zelena came along and turned my life on its ear _again_. Only this time I didn't have Emma's steady presence to keep me from losing everything for the insanity of meeting my soulmate finally after countless years of second-guessing my cowardice. And once again, I was stopped from a kind of suicide by Fate in the form of one Robin Hood and his adorable son, Roland. They didn't make me forget about Henry or Emma, but they eased a bit of the pain. I never felt as guilty as I did in those moments when I'd realize that they made me forget my son and the woman I loved but could never have. But I thought we were forever destined to be separated and, if I couldn't have the oblivion of the sleeping curse, I needed to find a way to move on as best I could.

By the time we returned to Storybrooke, my feelings for Robin had grown. And then Emma and Henry returned and everything started to get weird. Emma remembered me, but she had someone she was seeing. Henry didn't remember me, and I wanted to curl up in a hole and die. But we had to fight my sister and her damned monkeys. And then I got to be the hero and break the curse because of my overwhelming love for Henry.

I will never forget the elation at being the one to save my little prince. Knowing that there was enough goodness in me still for that to happen soothed a lifelong fear lurking in my heart. My part in the casting of that third curse that had wiped out an entire year of our lives… I suppose it's easiest to say that it humbled me. The sacrifice that Snow made to ensure we could get back to Storybrooke, back to Emma and Henry, was almost too much for me to bear, especially when I recalled the lengths I was willing to go to in order to deal with my grief. 

And then I remembered who Robin was, what he was, and what he had become to mean to me. And that Emma appeared to be happy, not with Walsh, but with Hook. So I chose to encourage her happiness, which opened the door for me to explore what could happen with the soulmate of so many years ago.

But there was always an undercurrent of connection to Emma that wouldn't die, no matter what happened or who came into our lives. I should've accepted it then and fought for her. But once again, my fears and inadequacies rose to the forefront and I stepped aside.

I was an idiot. I can finally say that now, even though part of me knows that I wouldn't change a single moment of my life to get to where I am now.

_{I realize how this might sound, Lucita, but it's true. I wouldn't be the woman I am today, the grandmother that you look up to if anything from my past changed, good or bad alike. If I can impart one lesson to you, it's that you cannot love the person you are and be comfortable in your own skin if you wish to change parts of your past. That would make you a different person.}_

**_~~ The Fourth Curse ~~_**

I loved Robin. I can admit that. I don't know that I was _in love_ with him, despite being soulmates. My heart was already given to Emma, whether I could admit it or not. We learned the truth about Walsh and defeated Zelena.

Only to find ourselves firmly enmeshed in more issues with Zelena and time travel and Marian and… And Killian Jones. Emma found herself in love, Robin was in New York with his honor and his family, and I was alone and miserable. I had Henry, but he was growing up and didn't need me in his life as much. I had my job back, but it didn't give me the satisfaction it had before.

The Author caused so much more havoc in our lives. Thankfully Henry was able to step up into that role and save us all. He's written enough about that already, so I don't need to say anything further than realizing even more how much I loved Emma, even when I didn't know her.

And then the darkness left the imp and set its sights on me. Emma took that on solely to save my life and my desire to be redeemed. She willingly threw her life away like an idiot Charming would simply to save my life and my soul. I didn't deserve her then and I still don't believe I deserve her, not even all these years later. Even now, I don't know everything that happened to Emma when she was the Dark One, and I respect her wishes not to share all of it. She saved my life, but we lost Robin and nearly lost Hook along the way.

As I mourned Robin's death, I realized just how much I hated myself. That's a huge part of why I let Snow and Emma talk me into splitting myself in an attempt to be rid of the Evil Queen once and for all. I never realized just how much I needed that side of me until it was gone, but I was too stubborn and afraid to admit it until it was nearly too late. Seeing her flirt with Emma, and seeing the destruction she created solely as a means of showing me that I still needed her, needed both of them, it hurt more than I expected. Our little trip into that wish realm of Emma's offered more revelations into so many parts of my psyche.

Learning how many of my emotional reactions, and how much of my need to please others came from her was a startling revelation. It's also what truly made me understand that Daniel's death wasn't the birth of the Evil Queen. Things clicked into place and I knew what we both needed to survive.

Once I realized what I needed to do to… Defeat is the wrong word for what actually happened, but I don't know what else to say. Perhaps it's better to say that I realized what I needed to do to make us both better people going forward. I knew we couldn't reintegrate into a single body any longer at that point. We were too different. But if we shared parts of ourselves with each other, we could both continue as our own selves. 

And then the Black Fairy came along with her need for vengeance against… Well, against everyone, but mostly the imp and Emma, I suppose. Each for different reasons, but both ended up concerning me more than I felt comfortable with. One of the few benefits of that damnable curse was meeting up with the Evil Queen again, and knowing she got her second chance at love.

I truly hope that she's as happy with her Robin Hood as I am with Emma. We both deserve our happy endings.

The Black Fairy's curse somehow made Emma realize how much she loved me, and how much she'd let herself be swayed into thinking she didn't deserve what she'd wanted all along either. Amazing how similarly we treated our feelings for each other, isn't it? Thankfully, Hook took her request for an annulment far better than either of us expected. He became more of a friend and ally than I ever expected. Especially later on when we both needed it.

Learning that the woman I'd loved for so many years had actually loved me back and been just as stupid about it as I was? I didn't feel _quite_ so alone and foolish. Well, no, that's not quite true. I actually felt _more_ foolish for waiting so long to do something about it.

The minute the marriage was annulled, we began dating. In another case of letting insecurities rule, Emma and I took our time getting together. Well, we tried to. Some things came more quickly than others. Henry and the Charmings decided to play matchmaker and do everything in their power to get us together faster. I should still be angry with them for it, but their meddling did help me and Emma, so I suppose I can't be _too_ mad at them.

The easiest step was Emma moving into the mansion with Henry and me. The guest room that had been earmarked for Roland once upon a time quickly became hers. Even once we'd begun sharing a bed, she retained that room as her personal space. I had my home office and the vault. She needed a space that was hers and hers alone. It saved us from so many potentially dangerous fights…

**_~~ The Fifth Curse ~~_**

The four years leading up to Henry's eighteenth birthday and graduation from high school were actually some of the most idyllic of my entire life. That doesn't mean that we didn't have fights or that there were no dangers in our lives. Quite the opposite, actually. But everything seemed less intense, less ominous with Emma at my side. Our magic was stronger, both individually and in tandem. Oh, when we joined our magic after finally admitting our feelings for each other, it was like… No, even seventeen years later, I still can't find the right words for that sublime connection we shared.

After three years of dating, we finally got married. It was a simple ceremony on the beach in early August. The day was perfect, not too hot and with a lovely breeze that smelled of the ocean and life. We had only a handful of people there to act as witnesses. Hook insisted on officiating the ceremony, saying that a ship's captain could do so as long as they were within spitting distance of the ocean. I still think he was bullshitting us, but it was a legal ceremony nevertheless.

We had a year of wedded bliss. And then Henry left to go find his story, ever the Author and Truest Believer. His heart, his trust and belief, they're what keep me going, even now. As long as he still loves and believes in me, I know that I haven't fallen prey to the dark insanity of my past.

But his leaving also ended the good life we had, the three of us. It was hard to let him go, but we raised a young man with a good head on his shoulders and a fierce desire to help people get their happy endings. We couldn't very well be selfish and keep him here with us, could we?

_{I'm sorry, Lucita. There is more that could be said about your father setting out to make his mark, but it still makes me cry, and I have been staring at these words for hours through tear-blurred eyes.}_

That fifth curse hit so suddenly, and none of us knew what hit us. Literally. One minute I was making Sunday brunch for Emma and the Charmings, and then… _Nothing_.

And then Roni Manzana came into being. Roni was me, but she wasn't. After we managed to break it, I finally truly understood what I'd put people through when I cast my curse. It was a humbling experience to say the least.

Roni made me understand more about my heritage than I ever learned when my father was alive. For that, I will be grateful to that curse. It made me appreciate more about myself and my family than I thought was possible. And it gave me something in common with my granddaughter and daughter-in-law.

If I learned anything new about myself as Roni Manzana, it's that I had been too safe in my life in the past. As Roni, I took risks that had little to no payout, but I did them because they were fun or would force me to challenge myself and my beliefs. Roni was so very different from me. Looking back, I find that Roni had aspects of her personality that I treasure in Emma. Whether it was intentional or not, it made me feel safer to know that I was taking those risks and stretching my boundaries. When I did things the intended way, my skin literally itched with the sensation of being trapped.

Being friends with a bunch of cops, including the woman who I'd eventually learn was my daughter-in-law always gave Roni a laugh that she never quite understood. She was always drawn to Rogers and Weaver, but couldn't figure out why. When they were in the bar, she felt calmer somehow. In hindsight, I can see now that it was somehow an inherent flaw in that particular curse.

The curse breaking and returning my memories, merging them with what I'd lived with for that ten years as Roni, nearly broke me. I can admit that now, three years later. The ache of not having Emma there when it broke was every bit as painful as that time Greg Mendel used me to play with lightning. For several hours, before we finally got in touch with her, I existed purely on autopilot. Not even reuniting with the rest of my family, including my beautiful and smart granddaughter, was quite enough to distract me from the fact that my heart was missing a vital component to its survival.

Living the life of a woman who dedicated her life to her bar and had occasional flings to scratch an itch, as it were, was so different from the life I'd lived with Emma for four years, not to mention whatever it was we had for the four years prior to that. Once the curse broke, I just needed to see my wife again, to feel her arms wound tightly around me, to hear her whisper those sweet, silly nicknames she always gave me. And until I could have that again, I couldn't fully settle into the reality of my life again.

And then she was there in front of me, almost as if conjured by magic. She looked just as she had that last morning together before the curse hit, except for those dark bags under her eyes that told me just how rough the curse had been on her all those years. The breath caught in my lungs as I stared at her, eyes stinging with the burn of tears. And then she was holding me, crushing me to her so tightly like she'd never let me go again. I won't lie; I was more than okay with that. The tears came hard as my own arms finally moved to stroke her face and hair, kissing her with every ounce of love and need in me.

The look on her face when Lucy introduced herself was priceless. I remember Emma telling me that it was a strange sort of déjà vu of when she first met Henry. That he and Lucy basically recreated her first moments with him only proved that Lucy had also inherited the Charming genes that I always mocked in the past. But knowing that our granddaughter did everything she could to help bring her father's family back together, no matter what? That was all it took for us to fall further in love with her.

**_~ ~ ~ ~_**

_And they lived happily ever after…_

My sweet Lucita, you know the rest of the story from this point on because you've lived it with us. If you truly wish it, I will add to it, but perhaps this is the time when we return the authorial duties to your father? Or it can be a father and daughter project since you seem to possess the same gift as he does. 

Regardless of what happens next, you have this story and you will have your grandmother and your abuelita for many years to come. 

I love you more than words can say, _mija_ , and I hope that this is what you wished for. Whether your grandmother does something similar is for the two of you to discuss, but this is the story of Emma and me. Maybe mostly me, but I'm not quite as objective as your father might be if he were the one writing it. I don't have to follow the rules he does.

 _Te amo,_ Lucita.

_Abuelita_


End file.
